Dear rkshooter
I just discovered Milly and first of all I have say that I admire your work.
I find it truly erotic an it surely is art. (I´m an artist myself,I do sculptures)
Especially the biginning is brilliant. The szene with the breast contest for example
where the mood of Ben changes, enjoying it more and more. There is so much tension in that szene!
And you are playing around with stereotypes very nicely. I also like that it stops and does not end in an orgy!
I have to say though that later on I miss some of the quality of the beginning.
There is not that much psychologic tension and there is more porn.
There is also a change in the point of view. All the beginning is more or less about the adventures of Ben. Reading it you automaticly empathise with Ben. But in the szenes in Millys holiday for exampel you can´t empathise with someone
I´m still very excited about how it will go on...
I could imagine an ending:
Milly and Ben are finally having sex. It´s all great but somehow Milly finds out how much sex Ben had with all her girlfriends and her sister...does she ask? does Ben tell her? Maybe they talk about all their adventures flirting with each other...but the flirt gets more and more sincere... till they start yelling...
They have sex again and it´s not great at all anymore and ......Milly leaves Ben!
Don´t give it a happy end! PLEASE!!!
Did you ever think about a printed version? Maybe some day you will go back and work the whole story over...
All the best for your work
Jules