Question for the Married Men

[VRaptorX]

I'm just saying...it seems like more trouble than it's worth. I'd be making myself insane trying to give a perfect equal 50/50 time spent...while maintaining 100% quality.

That just seems more like a job and less fun.

[seyfi]

I think a Blowjob on the beach could be very good with a foreign girl.......

[ExLibris]

VRaptorX wrote : OK...I just got a quick question.....why do people even want threesomes? No really? I mean I can't even wrap my head around the mechanics of it. I only have one penis. It's gonna be really difficult to please 2 women at once. That doesn't sound fun, it sounds stressful.

I think the attraction of threesomes has something to do with the thrill of conspicuous consumption, as it were. The man can only be one place at once, and given the typical male refractory period, not very often.

However, what strikes me about your comment is its assumption that it's going to be the man who is at the centre of the threesome. It's just as likely (possibly more so in the context of a married couple) that the woman would be the centre of attention. After all she might not be too keen on watching her husband have sex with another woman (just as he might not be too keen one watching her have sex with another man), but restricting the activity with the other person to oral sex at the most would put less stress on the relationship. Or so it seems to me. YMMV.

[Squeeky]

Fantasies! What worked that doesn't happen now, or tried but is now further refuse! I have been intrigued in what has unfolded above.

Yes, I have some (fantasies) but to place them in cyberspace? Ms T, they are simple and private in as much as this environment is concerned.

[okimaon1]

Well, I'd go with slutty/dirty.
Clothing, talking, spanking, hairpulling (which is something I havent seen in your games BTW), anal.

I love where this is going...cant wait.

OKI

[seyfi]

I thought that this question a foundation or an idea for a new game?
Otherwise you should not write secret fantasies in cyberspace !!

[danigonz]

Not married, but I live with my girlfirend since 2007...

Routine is a relationship-killer. And one of the items you can find routine more easily is regarding clothing. We have great sex, but as far as we live together, we are usually in pajamas when we get horny, so there is not much glamour!

So, something I ask her from time to time is that she get well dressed for me, with good makeup.

Sometimes we even do some role-plying: for instance, she goes to a bar and I meet her there, pretending I don't know her, so I must flirt as if she were a total stranger... Another day, she became my whore: she dressed very sexy, and for an hour she did whatever I ordered... but paying for it (a french kiss 20 euro, let me lick her pussy, 40; give a blow, 50, etc).

[Josefus]

Hi Tlaero,

I believe with google very serious scientific studies are found on this subject.
Otherwise simply sometimes with Youtube look. There everything is shown what 'man' should have thus for confidential wishes ''.
I do not spread out my imagination, in any case, here! Sorry

[Thrain]

In my real life (25 years with my wife), fullfill some of fantasy requiert lot of time and patience. Real fantasies are far from thoses you can put in your stories, Tlaero, not "making love with ligh on" too, but somewhere between.
Whatever, more time and energy you put on, more rewarding is the fantasy, even the smallest ! Wildest fantasies are not so important, it's the way you reach your goal which reward you, not "the wildest" ^^

I really think that in game it's the same. A simple naked tit can be really great, if it's impossible at begining, but after you battle hard enough you gain honor to see it

And whatever you do, your wife should like it too, or fantasy is ruined. Great fantasy is always shared, never one way.

[Grubnut]

I guess I'll have to go at this from a different direction. I've been married for quite a long time. And I have also had quite a few extra-marital experiences. Some merely flings, others that have last almost as long as my marriage. I do not lie or keep secrets. My wife knows about some of these affairs. When she asks, I answer. I also never conceal that I am married and never pretent "you are the opnly one" with anyone. I discovered very early on that if I was honest about my basic needs, there are women who can accept that.

Every woman is different. Every woman has her own natural responses, her own fantasies, and her own limits.

Variety is the ultimate aphrodisiac! The reason I am so promiscuous is that no one woman can be everything.

So, here are my thoughts pertaining to the subject you inquired about. Things that I have enjoyed with some women that are either out of character or beyond the limits of others.

Flashing, "accidental exposure" and more. I love sheer, if she is exhibitionistic and the setting permits. But in any setting, I like playful -- in a restaurant or a bar or out shopping -- anywhere -- glimpses and teases and "unaware" exposures are titillating and keep my interest. It does not matter what her physical characteristics are. The key is that it is a game in which she makes it seem unintentional and is seemingly unaware that she is exposed. This pertains to breasts, butt and pussy. This is especially fun in places where there are a lot of people, even dignified settings. Some women are real naturals at this kind of playfulness. Others just never can pull it off.

Bondage, fetish and role play. I love setting women free to explore their secret fantasies. I find this particularly true with women who are married. You question was directed to men who wish their wives would open up or try new things. But I have found that an awful lot of women are sexually frustrated by the sexual rut of their marriage. The thing is, they've been in a particular role in their marriage for so many years that even if their husband wants them to break out of the rut, they just cannot with him. But they can with a new lover. Things that have been particularly fun over the years are simulated pick-up games, like sitting at different tables in a bar and having an oblivious waitress pass messages between us that result in us hooking up

Women who take risks. I do not mean unprotected sex with strangers or near-death experiences. I'm talking about psychological risks, pushing their own limits, the excitement of fear. Exactly what this entails differs for every woman, because they come into any situation with all their past experiences and relationships. It is really exciting for me when a woman is excited by whatever she is experiencing with me. Sex in public places hs always been a turn-on for me -- the stacks in a big library, in a park behind some bushes, in the car in a big parking lot, etc. But the woman usually defines the nature of what is risky for her.

There are some things that really move me. Every woman has her own innate beauty. This is different from prettiness, which is merely an accident of nature and social brainwashing. I'm referring to the woman who emerges when she feels loved, attractive to her lover, desirable, sexy. There is something wonderful about being there when that sense of confidence and self-acceptance emerges and takes over, when her inhibitions disappear.

There are some things I personally like. They are not deal breakers, not required, but are things that make sexual experiences ore satisfying for me. At the top of my list, and I don't know how to say this without seeming crude, but after she has had her orgasms and is spent, I like a nice BJ culminating with my cum on her face. Not the kind of sleazy thing you see in porn movies. Depending on the woman, it can happen in different way -- from romantic to fun. But once I return to reality, there's nothing more "bonding" for me than seeing my cum on her face.

So, there are lots of things here, but they are part of character. Most games are pretty superficial compared to real life. What might be interesting would be to create a wife character who is not a slut, like in porn flicks, but with some depth and needs that she slowly begins to explore with a man who is patient and understands how to let her unfold, offering opportunities to experience new things, but not forcing anything. Dialog is key to success, I think. Most game dialogue is just inane. Any guy who thinks a woman is going to strip and screw him just because he says phrases like "You are hot" has a long way to go.

What are the attributes I find really attractive? A sense of fun and playfulness. A need to explore and grow. A willingness to take risks. Personal uniqueness (especially physicall and sexually). And physical variety. Women are different, ya know? They don't all look like 20 year old bombshellls. And often, it ain't the prettiest one who is the best. Variety is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Hey, I didn't say it would be easy.

And by the way, I never, ever lure, entice or trick women for sex. In fact, if I think a woman is drunk, I will get her number and call another time. The whole premise of getting women drunk in games in order to loosen them up is really perpetuating an evil. Women are smart enough to make rational choices about men. You don't need to bribe them with gifts, ply them with booze, or coerce them into tight situations. This is probably the thing I dislike most about most games. I like the puzzles, but I rarely like the women and never like the role I'm playing. It would be good to have some games in which the relationship develops over time -- like chapters in their lives over a period of years. If things go sour, you brak up, game over. If things develop in good directions, you both grow alongside each other.

I'm not sure that's a game. It's more like a virtual life simulation.

[Squeeky]

Grubnut,
You paint a very intriguing view on relationships which many of us might envy and many of us might abhor! No, No! I'm not making a judgement, just a statement.

I admire that your personal relationship is sufficiently solid with your full-time partner (wife) and those partners who understand. In my teens I had a friend who had a motto regarding girls: "Absence makes the fond heart wander". He had 3 girls that he was dating, on night one she rang to go out, he couldn't make it (ditched, she him!), down the street with #2 on arm meets #3! Oh! Fond heart must wander some more! Trust for your sake that "luck" never ventures into your life in such a way.

Tlaero,
Let us not dismiss the context of Grubnut has said. He does offer quite a broad an open view as of his lifestyle, not that either you or I might embrace. I would however like to take some notice of what he says about women who would like to express their sexuality but by social mores, whatever, simply need huge encouragements.

I'll not try to go into this further, the text speaks for itself, and you will absorb "fuzzy" feelings or detest at some of his comments.

In all, I feel that the above is a frank dissertation game developers might consider, and that is within matters that I have not addressed. [Yes, one cannot make a game scenario without taking relationship shortcuts, let's face it].

[Craban]

I fully agree on most statements especially about playful women and the usual game scenario of loosing a woman with alcohol.
The problem is to put that in a reasonable short story you can do in a flash game and still manage that with a single developer or a small team. As discussed in the project forum I have some dreams about such a game but honestly there is not more than a possible intro. This is because it will be a huge effort regarding resources (models, items, environment, etc.) but as well to get the story right.

For me it's very interesting to see what you would like to see in a game.
Maybe we could have a forum to post stories and scenarios that can be used for games? That would imply a kind of free license.

[Grubnut]

Yes, I realize that my lifestyle is not for everyone. But who's lifestyle is for everyone? Some men are career military, some are gay, some are car wash owners who go to strip clubs and pay for sex, some are swingers, etc.

It's true, there are some moral issues involved that could be problematic for many people. Our society and much of our personal value system is built around marriage, family and fidelity. I've never had or wanted kids.

My personal value system (and I do believe I am a moral person) is founded on the belief that no person should "own" another person, that every person is a free agent who makes choices, and that sex and love are not the same thing.

I love my wife. We have been married for a long time. My income goes to her, most of my non-work time goes to her, and I will care for her until she dies (or until I do).

I also do not break up marriages. I avoid situations in which a woman is looking for a man as a means to get out of a sour marriage. Most of the married women I've had affairs with over the years are still married. Most of them never had another affair.

It may be too problematic to build a game around my sort of lifestyle, and I hope I did not seem to be suggesting that. The ideas pertaining to playfulness, experiential growth, and variety among women were what I was trying to get across.

I also think the idea of "chapters" makes it possible to create more complex games. It can grow over time, like episodes. If done with an eye toward character development, it could make for a much different kind of game experience.

The average age of game players is (I think) mid-30s. Yes, with these sorts of games, there are a lot of teenagers who are just looking for some titillation. But there is a market (I think) for games that are more adult, less teen-fantasy, with characters who have more depth.

I've said before in other posts that I'd like to see more physical variety among the characters in games. By which I do not mean populating games with fat women, bearded women, etc. But attractiveness comes in many forms. The smart librarian with small breasts and glasses and the skinny hard-body athletic type can be just as sexy as the big-breasted voluptuous barbie that seems to be the standard for most games. And from experience, I'd ay the woman with "average good looks" makes for a much better companion in every way than the party girl or the beauty queen.

I'm also reminded of the early Emmanuel movies, in which women explored their sexuality in different ways -- before the movies devolved into formula. There were some pretty erotic elements in those movies. But they were all embedded in character. In most games, it is just cardboard cutouts going through some activities, and the sex is emotionless, mechanical and it ends there. Where are human feelings? What happens after sex? What is the next stage of development with this woman? Just another activity ending in another mechanical orgasm?

Well, I'm waxing philosophical. Games have limits. After all, they are just fantasy entertainment, not real life simulations. Still, it might be fun to be a prof on a campus, who gets to enjoy the company of that librarian, the women's volleyball coach, the dean of women, the clerk in the registrar's office, and that lab assistant in chemistry.

None of whom look like a barbie. haha

[tlaero]

Thanks for all the suggestions, Grubnut. I'm curious to hear what you thought of the first Keeley game and, especially, Christine.

I've also never been a fan of the "you need to get her drunk to have sex with you," mechanic. That's why Phreaky's and my games don't do that. (-:

Mike

[ledino]

I'm married since about ten years, and I think I'm lucky in a lot of ways.

With my wife, we nearly did all that I (and she) wanted to do. Casual sex, outdoor (in a pool at night, and in the wood), quick sex (like juste before going to work), "dangerous" one (with some people sleeping in our room), playing some games (like SHOE on computer, you just have to know the limits of every one, we are not in a "real" SM trip), with her reading an erotic book and me doing to her everything the heroïne was doing (it was pretty hard to find a good book), after I or she reading loud a pornographic book, 69 or blowjob, anal or straight, even some flirt by mail...
Some ideas were accepted after talking about it (fantasizing it's better, I think) during preliminaries, and asking after if it's turning on her (or me).

There are more things that I'd like to do, that we didn't before:
by exemple shaving her pussy (just to see and feel the difference once) or trying some bindings.
Actually, we have an agreement, the odd months (January, March ...), I can ask her something I want, it can do even months. In theory, you can not refuse, but if this poses a real problem, we can change the demand we made. And I know that she had some ideas left, and me too.

There's a golden rule in our choices, it's only the two of us. And I know a things that she won't do, it's masturbating in front of me.

Just a word, somethings that absolutly don't turn me in real life (enormous breasts, women who looks too young, young girls, whipping...) could be exciting in a game or in a book.