Okimaon1 I thank you for your comments.
however - your characters are very flat. I dont know anything about them, except what is being directly said by them.
This leaves me assuming that you are foucsing getting to the results, the sex scenes, rather than the story leading to them.
Your assumption is spot on.
since you are obviously gifted,
I thank you but keep your day job. You won't make it as a literary critic.
I'd like to recommend that you team up with someone who's interested in writing scrïpts.
No way!
Collaborations like these have brought us Keely and Christine.
Who is Keely and Christine?
I have started a poll on my site that you may be interested in. I'll let it run for a week and see what comes up.