If it's your first playthrough, most of the stats won't go higher than 80. Obedience for sure. I could not get the Ponygirl stuff either but when I finished the game and started another one as a completely different person, I had the Ponygirl options (tail buttplug, etc.). I used the farm as my residence and took a male personality that allowed the Ponygirl stuff, I think. Hope this helps.
There is an update on the blog here:
http://slavemaker3.blogspot.com/?zx=29f4fe886fcf1f61