Thanks for not completely slating my verbiage,
Squeeky! I should probably have made drastic use of the eraser, but once I had come to terms with the mindboggling fact that
RKS had emailed me that great set of renders and had given me free reign (rein?) to supply the storyline, my mind went into "Hamster Wheel" mode! Part of my thinking is revealed by a PM I sent him shortly after receiving the set:
I've just finished my first viewing! What was on the TV? The Hot Porn channel showing Milly and the Five Clones -- or are they quintuplets? That entire sequence hardly needs a single word to carry it off, although I'll have a think and see if I can come up with something more sensible than a narration by the lucky wine bottle!
See? I couldn't even count at that stage and saw more clones than there actually were!
Eventually I decided that the best approach would be a "stream of consciousness" one, where her thoughts brought explanation where necessary to link the scenes into a coherent whole, but as you can tell, I am more used to using words to set the scene rather than having the scene laid out and just requiring comparatively terse thoughts or speech to round things off.
What you see is my first draft, essentially unmodified, as it came to me, and although I offered to edit or change it,
RKS has obviously decided to go with it as is, including the frame I rather cheekily Gimped together of an RHJ Publishing, "Pornucopia Productions" experimental DVD in a player tray (blame me for that not very polished .jpg!)
Is it just me, or is
RKS getting better and better? In this endeavour I feel like I'm riding on the shoulders of a giant -- it's quite an experience!