W.I.P The Boy from Elistra

[davori]

Hi Guys, i finally arrived the Member Status and can Post in this Thread now.

To Introduce myself again i paste my Reply on the Introduce Thread.
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Hi.

I'am 25 Years Old and i am from Germany. I try to do my best to write in English but it's not so easy for me.
I am an IT-Salesman and. I can't remember the first Time i visit or i found the Shark's lagoon. I played every game from Shark and will play every game he releases.
I thought it's time to register because i wanna share my Project with all of you i am currently working on.

As soon as i can Post in the Project Thread i tell you more about it.
It's currently in Version "0.1" so no need for rush. I worked the last 9 Hourse but i am new to the whole create thing and ... well this comes later.

I dont't know what i can write more so if someone has a question feel free.

So long
-davori
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Well... I am finally back home from Work and i already awake for 25 Hours and i am pretty tired. But i wanna create this Topic befor i go to bed.

Iam a big Fan of the Eroic RPG Maker scene unfortunately the most of them are in Japanese and i cant read that. I am not a Fan of Gore, Scat and so on, so dont expect something like that. And there will be no battles in the game. It's focused on the Story and the Sex . But i have a short description on my Blog, but i dont wanna paste the whole Text in here so i just give you the link.
On my Blog you can read a short description what i planned for this game and a download link for the current Version 0.1 of course.
I am thankfull for any kind of feedback.

10/3/2014
The "Game" is about a 18 Years old Virgin and his friends and i try to create a story around that. It's a strange feeling to Post a unfinished Game but so you can see that i didnt't gave up already.
I recreated the Town/Village and the Houses. I create my Maps now with Photoshop so it wil cost a bit more Time but i can change it easily later. The Houses are still not finished. Tomorrow i will release a new Version "0.2" and this time i post the Download link here.

11/3/2014
So here it is. And like the last time any kind feedback is appreciated.
http://ul.to/rs6pvtt9 The Boy from Elistra V0.2

18/3/2014

V0.3
Uploaded
http://ul.to/dzfsxcvi

Mega
https://mega.co.nz/#!iYAFUCJQ!ayrCBTzYA6Pw2Pi22ChliCGreJ4u2eok1sgkXMH4HAs


I updated my Blog aswell...just a little bit.
http://davori.blogspot.de[/b]

Best wishes
-davori

[Super]

Oh hi, just gave it a try, few things. One, I couldn't figure out what to do after I got to Talia's party? I ate some cake but then nothing happened.

There were also some weird timing things, for instance talking to your mom repeated the same conversation each time you talked to her in the beginning. Usually, it'd be like you have the conversation, then when you talk to her again, she says "Go get the Present, honey." and not repeat the same conversation. Just a nitpick.

Also, kind of weird that the menus are still in German but I think you'll be taking care of that soon.

Also, I personally think it'd be better if you walk to her house either via gameplay or in a cutscene. The jump cut was weird.

Speaking of which, at the party, I left the house and reentered my house, and my mother was still there at the doorway. Odd. Might want to lock us into the party while we're there, and make sure out mom isn't there at the doorway each time.

One more thing, considering that you don't have combat, you'd want to reorganize the menus so that unneeded things related to battle aren't thee anymore. I see no need for level, though you could do equipment I guess depending on how you want to do the whole game.

One more thing, I recommend a "gallery" in the menu, of all your romantic conquests. For instance, if you have sex with Talia, you add her to there and can review that scene any time you want. Some sort of completionist thing would be good.

Sorry for the bug hunt, honestly you didn't give me enough yet to say good job, so I'm just going to say good luck with your project

[fleet]

Welcome to the Lagoon! It's great to have another game maker join us!
I'll take a look at your game when I finish downloading the player, and will add anything I notice that superawesomeman didn't comment on.

I'll offer a bit of general advice.
1. Tell us more about the story in your first post. There's very little about it in your blog.
a.Where does the story take place (small town in Germany, big city in Japan, planet far away, fantasy kingdom)?
b. What's the main character's situation (college student, soldier, store clerk, apprentice wizard)?
c. What about the woman (women) he's after (princess, boss's daughter, co=worker, study partner, teacher)?
2. I always like to see a screen shot of the artwork for a game.
3. Including the download links to your game and any additional necessary files (like the required player) in your first post is also a good idea.

It's a good idea to have some friends privately review anything you've made BEFORE releasing. that way they can identify any bugs or typographical errors.


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[davori]

I don't have much Time yet but Thank you very much. I will do some changes today when i came back from Work.
To be honest, there are few things you said, i never thought about.
This helps me a lot, thank you. Whish you a wonderfull day.

-davori

*edit

Oh i forgot... after you ate the cake you need to check her Warderobe.

[rabbie]

I competed it until just before you go to the beach and the game ends, there are a few buggy parts... for example if you go back to your own house at any point the game restarts with your mom blocking the way out and you having to get the present and restart the party.

Also having the window on mikes house be on the invisible side of the house was strange, pretty hard to find. I think even though the layout is different, having you go to the visible window would make more sense.

Is checking the wardrobe the only way to end the party?

Not to bad otherwise, you might want someone to look over the english, just to clean it up a bit. I hope you continue

[Super]

You'll definetly want to have some better clue that were supposed to look in her drawer. It doesn't look any different. You need to give us some idea what to do and not have us click enter next to everything. Hint for the rest of the game

Also, we should walk to the beach and not teleport

I also recommend making a better description in the first post

[davori]

Ok... ehm i dont know where i should start.

First the most important thing ->Thank you.
I erased all my work i have done so far and started again. Arrghh its so hard to write a complete Text in English.
I dont have these problems when i read a English text but write some on my own is really hard.

I created a new Village, but this Time i used RPG Maker and Photoshop to create the Village.
I created the ne Village in about 4 Hours. It's not perfect as i were half done i worked a bit slutty but i just need to edit the PSD from photoshop to improve the look for grass, houses and so on.

Also having the window on mikes house be on the invisible side of the house was strange, pretty hard to find. I think even though the layout is different, having you go to the visible window would make more sense.

to be honest that was on purpose.
I dont want make the game to easy. if all the things are to obvoius, i think the game will be to easy. But on the other hand, it will be to frustrating if you cant find the right spot. And now that i increased the size of the map.....well yea. I need to find good balance.

Not to bad otherwise, you might want someone to look over the english, just to clean it up a bit.

i try to find someone for my next release.

I hope you continue

Hell yea, i promise.

You'll definetly want to have some better clue that were supposed to look in her drawer. It doesn't look any different. You need to give us some idea what to do and not have us click enter next to everything. Hint for the rest of the game

Also, we should walk to the beach and not teleport

I also recommend making a better description in the first post

I will keep that in my head.

OK now time for bed. Need to rest a few hours.
Good Night
-davori

[davori]

There is one thing that i whant say about V 0.2.
There are 3 Events with Pictures you can Trigger but just one is necessary to continue. After the beach you need to ask Mike something but i forgott to implementis this. Its just the text which is missing. So after the beach just walk to Mikes House.

best wishes
-davori

[rabbie]

The houses are showing up as black boxes on my end.

[Super]

I'm sorry but I do have a few issues I need to raise

One, you say that the other guy is a jerk. Why is he worse than the main character? The main characters the one who will be fucking a lot of girls and even leeks at his mother in the shower. If you want to set bob up as javaksses I gess that's fine, but I really don't see any reason that the other guy is worse off than you. It seems like you bob jut want o get your rocks off with any girl

Also, I don't see why it's in RPg maker format. It doesn't necessarily need to have fighting, but what will there be to gain that you can't in a more traditional visual novel? Usually, sex games shed gameplay in favor of pure story. You have some gameplay of just walking around aimlessly, but is it fun? What challenge or amusement is there to be gotten from walking around a world map with no gifts or puzzles that couldn't be done in as visual no el? You have the example of being able to peek in people's windows. However, there are no hints on the world map that we can do that. Is the gameplay of this just pressing enter everywhere and hoping a text box pops up?

I don't want to discourage you or tell you what to do, but I dothink these are big issues you need to take into consideration. Just thought you might want to hear them. If not then meh

[davori]

I'm sorry but I do have a few issues I need to raise

One, you say that the other guy is a jerk. Why is he worse than the main character? The main characters the one who will be fucking a lot of girls and even leeks at his mother in the shower. If you want to set bob up as javaksses I gess that's fine, but I really don't see any reason that the other guy is worse off than you. It seems like you bob jut want o get your rocks off with any girl

It's the Main Character who think's Mike is an asshole. The Real Personality of every Character is something you should decide by yourself while playing the game. I' m not sure yet how many Girls the Main Cahracter can fuck or not. I try to involve as many fetish as long it's not against my own rule thats the reason why i created the Mother peek show.

Also, I don't see why it's in RPg maker format. It doesn't necessarily need to have fighting, but what will there be to gain that you can't in a more traditional visual novel? Usually, sex games shed gameplay in favor of pure story. You have some gameplay of just walking around aimlessly, but is it fun? What challenge or amusement is there to be gotten from walking around a world map with no gifts or puzzles that couldn't be done in as visual no el? You have the example of being able to peek in people's windows. However, there are no hints on the world map that we can do that. Is the gameplay of this just pressing enter everywhere and hoping a text box pops up?

To be Honest... my first try creating something was with "Renpy", but i don't have fun working with. I would prefer doing the Game in 3D like the Unreal Engine but thats way to hard. Every time i work again on that Project i dont just add something new, i recreate alot of things. And just because that you see something in the current Version doesnt't mean i will not change it. I Added a To-Do list for everyone who need help what to do next. But it's not up to date.
I dont want the game be to easy. For example the moment you want ask mike about the party and going in his house, you can see that not only Mike*s door is closed. So if you go to his mothers Window after you watched trough his window you can see Pictures of her aswell. But there is the Point that i missed sometimes to give Instruction what to do, there you are right.

Is it fun... there you got a point...im atleast having fun creating it.

I don't want to discourage you or tell you what to do, but I dothink these are big issues you need to take into consideration. Just thought you might want to hear them. If not then meh

Thanks a lot. Any feedback is appreciated.

[totmas]

Hi Davori. I have downloaded the v0.3 and I tried it, but the game crashes when it tries to load the videos when the PC is sping on his mom or spying Mike.

Keep up the work! Allways good to see new people trying to do new games.

[katakana132]

Does anyone know where I can get the RPGVXACE RTP needed to run this game? I had it in the past but I've changed laptops and apparently it did not carry over.

Thanks

And thanks for taking the time to share your game with us, I look forward to playing it.

[fleet]

Does anyone know where I can get the RPGVXACE RTP needed to run this game? I had it in the past but I've changed laptops and apparently it did not carry over.

Thanks

And thanks for taking the time to share your game with us, I look forward to playing it.

You can download rpgvxace rtp from http://www.rpgmakerweb.com/download/additional/run-time-packages

[katakana132]

Does anyone know where I can get the RPGVXACE RTP needed to run this game? I had it in the past but I've changed laptops and apparently it did not carry over.

Thanks

And thanks for taking the time to share your game with us, I look forward to playing it.

You can download rpgvxace rtp from http://www.rpgmakerweb.com/download/additional/run-time-packages

Thanks!