My next project "Uni Dreams"

[wildcat68]

Congrats on the baby girl. No rush, you have your hands full. We can wait.

[sylakone2]

Hi Guys

I decided it would be a good idea to make a Demo of my new game so you can check it out and let me know what you think.
It is only a small taste but hopefully you will get an idea of what I am creating.
Please let me know if you notice any spelling mistakes, or punctuation errors, as punctuation has always been my weak point.
I will give you the link to my webste, it is still under construction but the link to the game is on the front page.

Thanks in advance

http://www.bachelor-adventures.net/

[Greebo]

Tried unpacking your .rar :-
"Uni Dreams Demo/files/Pictures/julia_spa_out.png - CRC failed
Unexpected end of archive"

By the way, how come you are posting as sylakone2? Even if you've forgotten your password for Sylakone you should be able to reinstate it with the "forgot password" facility!

[sylakone2]

I tried many times to get my old password but each time it took me to the code screen and never let me in. I will recheck the rar and re upload when I get home sorry about that

[Greebo]

It might have been a one off glitch -- a second download appears to have extracted correctly

[rabbie]

Works for me too, about to give it a go.

[sylakone2]

Ok Cool thanks

Anyway it is only a small part of the game but at least I got something of it up.

[ExLibris]

Graphically it's good and there are some interesting touches. It needs more polish and testing, but that's hardly surprising at this point in development.

General comments
Including the outcome of a decision in the filenames (eg. "Fiona_happy" vs "angry") takes some of the mystery out the gameplay
I found the dialogue hard to read due to the absence of punctuation. If you're concerned about it being a weakness of yours, you should definitely get someone to specifically proof-read the text.

Specific comments
The file lobby1_1.html seems to be missing
room1_3.html refers to the headmaster, who becomes the headmistress by the next screen
The text in corridor1_2.html refers to just leaving the headmisstress's office, but you can access that file in other circumstances (ie. while wandering about)
A link in room1_4.html is broken due to a spelling mistake

[sylakone2]

Graphically it's good and there are some interesting touches. It needs more polish and testing, but that's hardly surprising at this point in development.

General comments
Including the outcome of a decision in the filenames (eg. "Fiona_happy" vs "angry") takes some of the mystery out the gameplay
I found the dialogue hard to read due to the absence of punctuation. If you're concerned about it being a weakness of yours, you should definitely get someone to specifically proof-read the text.

Specific comments
The file lobby1_1.html seems to be missing
room1_3.html refers to the headmaster, who becomes the headmistress by the next screen
The text in corridor1_2.html refers to just leaving the headmisstress's office, but you can access that file in other circumstances (ie. while wandering about)
A link in room1_4.html is broken due to a spelling mistake

Thanks Ex for your feedback, I have made the corrections you've suggested that kind of feedback helps heaps.

On your other suggestion.
I would like to put a call out to see if anyone would like to help me with the proof reading?

Hopefully with your help I can get this project going forward.

I have almost finished day 2 still got some gfx to do and some html but I have flow charts written up to day 3.
I wish I had more time to spend on it, I have so many ideas for this game and future games that will spin off from this one.

Anyway thanks for all feedback.

[Greebo]

I've only glanced at your demo but a minor comment I have so far is that a University or a college of one would normally have a Principal rather than a Headmaster or Headmistress -- I assume that this is a College/University of higher education where students of (normally) 18+ go for advanced learning. I feel a certain affinity for your main protagonist since, when I was in my twenties, I was a Physics Department Technician in a University College that was for women only during the first few years of my job tenure there!

I might well be prepared to proof read for you -- I often do for my wife's fics and I have also been of some assistance to RKS and Josefus

[Squeeky]

I haven't seen what this discussion is truly about, I'm coming in cold. Here in Australia a school is headed by a Principal (I think since I left service that also applies to a one teacher schools). Our Universities are headed by Chancellors with Deans in charge of faculties.

As "Sylakone" is an Aussie I'd guess things will not be too different from my part of the woods.

[Greebo]

I'm with you to some extent Squeeky, although I think Chancellors and Deans are most usually associated with the overall Universities as opposed to Colleges of the Universities.

I'm pretty sure the College I worked at had a Principal over all, and a stern woman she was by all accounts, but most of the minions were nominally under the purview of the Bursar, whose principle job was to handle the financial side of things. I was answerable to the Chief Technician, who reported to the Professor who had tenure as the Head of the Department.

My wife went to Girton College, Cambridge University, and the title of the woman in charge of that august establishment was 'Mistress' (not Headmistress!) which could well be a good title for Sylakone's equivalent!

[sylakone2]

Good Point Squeeky and Greebo I think I will make that change as my wife works for a Uni I should know better lol. From now on she will be a Dean or maybe Mistress .

Thanks for the input and thanks for the offer to proof read Greebo.

Yes I am a True Blue Aussie squeeky you would think I would be better at English, unfortunately that was my most hated subject in school lol.

[cheese101]

In my university it is the provost who is in charge,whose reign lasts 10 years(just had election last year,in which students get a tiny(wortheless) say)
I also wanted to say it looks great,and that i could also help proofread if you wanted

[ExLibris]

Giving the university a name would help with verisimilitude.

I was curious why Illustriel is so upset that a male janitor has been hired when it was established that the previous janitor was male (although given the PC's interior monologue, she's right to be suspicious). Ditto why the men's locker room hasn't been repurposed.

I would also be happy to do proof-reading and testing once you get to that point.